Lucky there's a family pharoah!
by Sekhmet'sXembodiment223
Summary: When yugi loses a shadow game, yugi and company are warped to quahog, rhode island. madness ensues when yugi helps peter get back at joe after losing a bet and everyone else tries to avoid attention!
1. Chapter 1

Lucky there's a Family Pharoah:

Description: When Yugi is challenged to a shadow game by a cloaked stranger and loses, the Domino gang find themselves in a strange place, filled with Strange-ER people!

Now, with introductions aside...ON TO THE STORY!  
Hold on to your sides!!

It had been a difficult day for yugi and company...Yugi had defeated the pharoah in the rite of the duel, the pharoah had left the group to return to his kingdom; Atem and yugi had so much fun, yami had taught yugi how to make friends and the 2 made so many bonds with people; Neither of them wanted it to come to this, but they both knew there was no choice in the matter.

As the group saw atem bid farewell, the ceiling began to collapse. As Yugi and his friends escaped the catacombs, they could only watch in grief as the structure caved in.

During the boat ride back to the airport, Yugi had been extremely withdrawn...Anzu had tried to cheer him up with a comforting hug, but Yugi was so depressed he didn't even acknowledge her... "Yugi...I know you're a little heartbroken, but it was for the best, and just remember we're all here right by your side... ...Don't forget that." Anzu whispered.  
Jonouchi and Honda looked at him and raised their arms.

Yugi looked up at her and said gently "Thank you, anzu, everyone... ..."

2 months later...

Yugi, anzu, jonouchi, honda and everyone else has been getting better step-by-step, for the first time in months, yugi had felt like dueling.

Yugi's grampa had just recently held a tournament, everyone came by to play! Seto, Mokuba, Rebecca, Mai, Otogi, Bakura, even shizuka! Yugi had decided to enter just for fun.  
Yugi's first opponent was a dark dreadlocked man in a black cloak. Yugi and the mysterious man shuffled their decks.  
"Let's Duel!!" They shouted in unison.  
Suddenly, thick, black clouds appeared in the game store.

"What are you doing??" Yugi shouted, hoping the man didn't do what yugi THOUGHT he did.  
"We're playing a Shadow game!! This game is a little different than what you're used to...If you lose, you and your friends will be sent to an alternate dimension!" The stranger explained.

(Author's note: I'm going to leave out the dueling and skip right to the result)

Man's LIP: 200 Yugi's LP: 0

A bright yellow wadjet eye appeared on the man's forehead as he lifted his head upward and grinned.  
"I'm sorry, yugi, but the shadows have won...BEGONE!!" He declared.  
A large red portal appeared over yugi and a second one appeared over yugi's friends.  
Yugi and company were pulled in including yugi's grandpa. The other duelists looked on in surprise and confusion.

Meanwhile in a certain city in rhode island... ... ... ... ...

A fat man wearing glasses was in his friend's basement playing poker with a skinny man in a hawaiian shirt, a fat black man and a white man in a wheelchair while a dog was watching standing on his hind legs.  
"Three 8s and a 10, read 'em and weep!" The fat guy in the glasses declared.  
"Four 10 and a queen, OH! Beat that, peter!" The man in the hawaiian shirt declared.  
"Cleveland calls Four jacks and a 9..." The black guy said flatly.  
"One queen and four kings! Sorry peter, but it looks like i win, give me your wager!" The handicapped man said.  
"Oh, come on, joe--I-I mean, what's lois gonna say when she fin--" Peter stuttered.  
Joe pulled out his gun, aimed it at peter and turned the safety off.  
"I SAID HAND OVER YOU WAGER!!" Joe roared.

Peter picked up a big glass jar filled with quarters and dollar bills and handed it to joe. "Sigh, so much for chris's college fund..." Peter moaned.  
Joe clenched his fists, raised his arms in the air, and screamed "YEEEAAAHHHHH!! YEAAAHHH!! I'M A #$%ING WINNER!!!!!"

"Even I think you're a loser!!" Taunted a hobo in the bar.

Peter and his dog were walking to the drunken clam when peter said to the dog.  
"How am i gonna explain THIS to lois, brian?" Peter moaned while chugging his beer at an humanly impossible speed.  
"Why don't you just quit gambling? Oh, wait a minute, i forgot you're a gambling addict!" The dog commented.  
"Waitor! Another Beer!!" Peter yelled.  
"Peter, you shouldn't drink to solve your financial problems, alcohol never solves anything...What's the point? You never listen to me anyway..." Brian muttered, frustrated.

12 Pawtucket patriots and a beating from a biker later...

Brian was walking peter home, peter was too drunk to even stand up straight.  
"Oh my god! Brian, stop!!" Peter shouted. When brian stopped walking, peter declared.  
"I could jump in front of a car, and sue the driver for reckless driving to get my gambling money back!" Peter said. Peter was about to leap into the middle of the street when peter tugged on his shirt.  
"I know, i could pose as an old italian count and trick a rich old lady into leaving me her inheritance!" Peter said next.  
"OOh! Oh! I know!! I can apply for disability benefits!!" Peter shouted.  
Peter slammed his empty pawtucket patriot bottle against his head in an attempt to give himself brain damage. "Ow! Ow! Ow!"

When the 2 of them got home, they reached the door when a portal appeared on the lawn and a group of funny eyed teenagers fell onto the ground from the portal.  
"Brian? Are you seeing what i THINK i'm seeing??"Peter said.  
Peter waddled up to the group and said to jonouchi "E-Excuse me? Are you THE Joey Wheeler in the flesh, or are you just an alcohol-induced hallucination??" Peter slurred.

"1st off, drunkey... I'm real! And 2nd, my name is Jonouchi Katsuya, thank you very much!" Jonouchi muttered, wiping the dust off his clothes.  
"Oh... ...Are the rest of you duelists alcohol-induced hallucinations, too?" Peter asked.  
The entire group sweatdropped and growled "NO!"

As peter walked inside, honda asked "Wait up! Where are we, exactly?"  
Brian said "You're in a Rhode Island town called 'Quahog'..."  
Yugi, Anzu, Jonouchi, Honda, Sugoroku, Seto and mokuba, mai, shizuka, otogi, rebecca and bakura stared at brian with eyes as big as oranges.  
"What?" Brian asked, getting annoyed at the gang's staring.  
"A TALKING DOG!! WHAT KINDA TOWN IS THIS??" Duke yelled.

"Let's make a deal..." Brian started. "Don't insult me, and i'll try to convince lois to let you all stay in our basement, deal? Oh, and if you say 'Let's shake on it' i'm gonna pop you! Do we have a deal?"  
The gang looked at Seto Kaiba, and Kaiba translated what peter and brian said to them.

R&R! 


	2. preparing for payback

Lucky there's a Family Pharoah

Chapter 2:

Lois was standing and waiting for peter at the door, when Peter walked inside, Lois was furious. "Peter, where where you?!" She demanded.

"Wh-wh-wh-where was I? Wh-wh-wh-where was you?" Peter slurred.

"Out gambling, but i did'nt come home drunk!" Lois said sarcastically. "And who are all those kids?" She added.  
Peter scoffed and slurred "I don't need this!! I'm going to bed!!!!"  
Peter tried to climb up the stairs. He made it, but then he passed out in the hallway, in front of the master bedroom.

Brian walked up to lois and said "Look, these kids were all abandoned by their parents...We should give them a place to stay and help them get jobs..." Brian explained, winking at them. Before lois could object, brian answered "Look, if you agree to let these kids stay in the basement, i'll get peter to quit drinking!"

Peter ran to the top of the stairs with a leafblower strapped to his back and shouted  
"Look at me!! I can fly!!"  
Peter pulled the string and jumped into the air screaming "YAAAYY!"  
Peter plummeted to the ground on the bottom floor in front of Brian. Mokuba, Rebecca, Jonouchi and Bakura started laughing.  
"Quit laughing! Don't give him the satisfaction!!" Brian warned.

Soon Chris and Meg walked out to see what was going on when they found yugi and kaiba.  
"Wow!! Yugi mutou!!" Chris yelled in excitement.  
"Eeeeee! It's Seto Kaiba!!" Meg gasped, nearly fainting.  
Lois sighed and said "Well, i guess i HAVE to offer them some hospitality, We are christians, after all...But where will you all stay?"(A/N I don't mean to be offensive, but this is a family guy crossover! Jokes aren't meant to be taken seriously!)  
"Well, we can't keep them in MY room, 'cuz there's an evil monkey in my closet!" Chris said.  
"Hahahah...Evil monkey!" Mokuba laughed.  
Chris looked toward the house and saw the monkey at the top of the stairs...The monkey bore it's teeth and pointed at chris.

Lois led the group into the basement. "Here's the lightswitch, it's mostly for show! There's the TV and the radio, and over there are the sleeping bags!"  
"Well, at least they got a shower..." Mai started "Better than the boat ride to Duelist kingdom!"  
Yugi, Bakura Ryou, Anzu and Honda heard the doorbell ring. Anzu opened the door to see Quagmire.  
"Hey, peter, can i borrow some-Well, hello, legs, breast, lips and ass!" He said to anzu. Anzu punched quagmire square in the face.  
"The nerve of you!!" She yelled.

Meanwhile in the basement, honda said "I wonder what they got for TV in america..." and grabbed the remote control and turned on the T.V. The man in the tv announced  
"We now return you to our feature presentation; 'Inside the supreme court', a Michael Moore film!"

There was one congressman holding another in a chokehold, another congressman was strangling another shouting "NO ON PROP. 196!!", the congressman that was being choked grabbed a nearby fold-up chair and hit the other upside the face with it.  
"FIX HEALTH CARE NOW!!" He yelled to his victim.  
And another congressman was pinning another down on the floor as he screamed and banged his fists on the floor in agony yelling "TAXES ARE TOO HIGH!!"  
One congressman slammed a win bottle against the counter, breaking it, and pointed the sharp object at the janitor, the janitor held his hands up defensively and begged "Please don't kill me, congressman! I'm just the janitor! I only came to mop the floors!"  
"I guess they don't get much done..." Bakura muttered.

Lois walked into the basement holding stewie in her arms. "Stewie...Why don't you say hello to our new roommates?" Lois asked.  
Stewie simply pointed and yelled "You will bow to me!!"  
"A talking baby...OoooooKkkkkkkkk..." Mai mumbled.

Peter and Yugi were sitting at a little coffee table upstairs, yugi took his deck out and shuffled when peter said "Is that a game? What kind of game is that?"  
"It's called 'Magic & Wizards'. There are three types of cards in this game; Monster, spell and trap...Each tournament deck consists of 40 cards!" Yugi explained.  
"I found my means of payback!!" Peter thought to himself.  
Peter got down on his knees and pleaded to yugi "Listen, yugi, you GOTTA help me! I was never good at poker, and i lost a ton of money in a bet with my neighbor, joe!! You gotta teach me how to play this game so i can get back at him for what he did!!" Peter was on the verge of crying.

Yugi sighed in embarassment and answered "Don't cry and we have a deal!"  
"Oh, this is freakin'-sweet!! Ok, let's get started, the sooner i get good at this, the sooner i can get my money back!" Peter replied.

"Peter! Guests! Dinner!!" Lois yelled from the kitchen.  
Everyone slowly and quietly ate the T.V dinners provided by lois, honda and jonouchi, however, eyed it cautiously for five whole minutes before deciding to take a bite.  
Meg was staring endearingly at kaiba as he tried to eat, thus making kaiba too uncomfortable to eat. Kaiba kept ignoring her and ignoring her until he couldn't bear it anymore and snapped  
"Could you tell this...This...THING to quit looking at me?"  
"Kaiba!!" Lois scolded.  
Meg huffed, looked the other way with her eyes closed and crossed her arms. "FINE!"

After dinner, Peter plopped a 'Classifieds' section of the newspaper down on the couch in the basement for Yugi and company to look at. (Much to Kaiba's annoyance, he had to translate everything!)

The next day, Honda applied for a part-time job at a body shop for motorcycles, Mai went to the Burger King and got a job there, Jonouchi applied for an after-school job at the sporting goods store, Bakura applied for an after-school job at the supermarket. Otogi, Yugi and Grandpa got jobs at K.B Toys. Anzu went to apply for an after school job at a dance academy.

Mai was a little annoyed with her manager, he had put her on drive-thru every night.  
"Hello, welcome to Burger king, may i take your order?" Mai asked flatly.  
*inaudible whispering*  
"What?" Mai asked.  
*inaudible whispering*  
"Ma'am, you'll have to speak up! I can't hear a word you're saying!"  
"Chicken sandwich, crispy, no mayonaise, no cheese, pickles, onions and kethup, please! And a side of onion rings." The woman said, speaking up.

In the sporting goods store:  
A boy about Jonouchi's age walked up to the counter and asked "Hey, asian guy! Where are the football helmets??"  
Jonouchi's face grew red and he muttered "Aisle three...Top shelf..."

As he walked away, Jonouchi picked up a volleyball, spiked it at the kid's head, and pointed at another customer. "He did it."

On his way back to work, Peter took Stewie to KB Toys to visit Yugi, Grandpa and Otogi.  
"Well, hello, Stewie-chan!!" Grandpa greeted.  
"I smell death on you!" Stewie replied.

R&R!


	3. Quahog

Lucky there's a Family Pharoah

Chapter 3: Quahog: The town of freaks

Stewie got up earlier that morning to spy on their new guests. He pulled out a little recorder from his pocket and whispered.  
"It appears one of our adolescent guests owns a rather strange item around his neck...I will do some investigation on the gravity-resistant haired one and see how i can use his unique artifact for world domination..." Stewie said into it. He finished with a "Knick-knack-paddy-wak, give-a-dog-a-bone!" Before sneaking back into his crib.

Honda awoke to the sound of Thump-thump-thump! He walked upstairs and opened the door to find a long-nosed old man lying on the doorway twisted up like a pretzel.  
"Well, hey there, spike-hair! Tsomebody tsung that 'Old man' tsong...Could you roll me back to my home with your tstrong, ropey arms? Mmmmmmm" He said.  
"Uh, old man.... I don't know WHAT you're problem is, but i have school in the morning!!" Honda said tiredly.  
Honda then closed the door on him.  
"Aw, don't make me beg! I'll give you poptsicles!" He pleaded.  
Honda walked back into the basement, crawled back into his sleeping bag, and drifted back to sleep.

The next day at school...

Kaiba, Yugi, Jonouchi and Honda had to wear fake goatees, beards and had to dye their hair wierd colors so no kids would recognize them at school. The kids got to their class, which was the same class Chris and Meg went to. Jonouchi and Honda just barely passed the math test. Yugi, Bakura and Kaiba did much better than they did, however. At lunch, as the kids got in line, the lunch lady let out a huge sneeze into the food.  
"Now what'll ya have today? Make it quick!!" The fat lunch lady barked.  
"Uh, I've lost my appetite all of a sudden..." Yugi blurted.  
"Me too..." Jonouchi and Honda said at the same time.  
"I'm not hungry." Kaiba said.  
"Pass." Bakura stated simply.

"Hm...It's your health!"

Later that day, Jonouchi and honda enrolled in physical education. Jonouchi signed up for softball, and Honda signed up for football. Kaiba took an advanced business class, and Yugi joined the after-school chess club. Jonouchi and Honda tried to block an incoming pass, when they were tackled and soon buried underneath a pile of high-school seniors. (Quite roughly)  
The coach blew his whistle and grunted "Hit the showers, rookies!!"

Meanwhile in the shower room:  
The boys were rinsing off after football practice when Honda said "This town is full of freaks!! I can't believe yugi got us stuck here!!"  
Jonouchi added "Yeah, well, as long as no one here knows who we REALLY are, we shouldn't have anything to worry about!"  
Little did they realize Neil Goldman (No, not the member of family guy staff) Overheard them while waiting for the boys to clear out of the shower.  
"Wait 'til that perv tom tucker and diane sthimmons hear about THISth! I'll be promoted for Sthure!!" Neil snickered. He quickly snapped a photograph with his cell phone and called channel 6...

That evening, Yugi was coaching peter in duel monsters like he promised.  
"Now, we're in the standby phase...The standby phase is when you strategize, so you don't do anything until you're able to come up with an idea...But you can end standby whenever you want..."  
"This is a much easier game to learn than chess!" Peter commented.

FLASHBACK:  
Peter was playing chess with cleveland.  
"King me!" Peter declared.  
"There is no King me in chess." Cleveland said emotionlessly.  
Peter put chess pieces on his head and declared "Look at me! I'm an alien!" Cleveland walked upstairs in frustration.  
Peter pointed at cleveland and said "Hey! If you don't wanna play chess, we can play Parcheesi!"  
END OF FLASHBACK.

"Peter! Kids! Dinner!!" Lois declared. Lois had ordered thai that night.  
Anzu picked up a banana leaf rolled up in the shape of a cigar and said "What's this rolled in a banana leaf? It smells minty!"  
Peter took it from her hands and said "Oh, i spit my gum in there! Sorry!"  
"Eww!"  
The gang ate their food in the basement, and were blinded by a bright, flashing light coming form a window. When Mokuba and Rebecca looked outside, rebecca said "We see something you're not gonna like..."  
Bakura looked out the window and saw hundreds of screaming fans. Some were in lawnchairs, some had signs, and some were holding slices of pizza and 6-packs.  
"Erm...Yugi, could you hand me the remote control?" Bakura asked.  
Yugi handed Bakura the clicker, bakura promptly turned on the T.V.

ON THE T.V:  
"This is channel 6 news! With Tom tucker, Diane Simmons, and Black-U-Weather meteorologist, Ollie williams!" The narrator announced.  
The man sitting at the desk introduced "Hello, i'm Tom tucker!" The woman declared "And i'm diane simmons!"  
"Our top story: The cast of Japanese comic/cartoon series "Yu...Yu yo...Yi, yu??" Tom started.  
"Yu-gi-oh, tom!" Diane corrected.  
"Geshundteit, diane! Have been spotted right here in quahog, rhode island! We now show you a photograph taken by our junior news recruit!"

A photograph appeared on the screen of Jonouchi and Honda naked in the shower room, there 'Special area's were censored with pictures of the backs of Yu-Gi-Oh! Cards. Diane secretly snuck a photograph before they took the photo off of the screen.

Mai, Shizuka, Meg and Rebecca were blushing and drooling like crazy, Mokuba laughed, and Jonouchi and Honda fell over backwards anime-style.

"WHAT IS THIS?!" Jonouchi started, flexing his arm and clenching a fist. "IF I FIND THE LITTLE 'CENSORED' WHO TOOK THAT PHOTO, I SWEAR I'LL...!!"

Diane Simmons snuck a digital camera to take the photo before anyone could see.  
"Anyway! We now go live to Trishia Takanawa! Trishia."

A camera showed an asian woman standing in front of the griffin's house, there were crowds and crowds of fanboys, fangirls, and even some photographers and journalists, some people were standing there, others had put up pump tents, others had brought lawnchairs!

"Uh, Oh!!" Everyone said in unison.  
Peter raised his index finger and said "Don't worry! I'll fix this problem!" He grabbed a rope attached to the roof and talked into a microphone!  
As Peter tugged on the rope, the roof moved up and down like the mouth on a sock puppet.  
"Hey! HEY! Nobody better come in here! I'm the griffin house!! Bring me a tool shed, for i am hungry!!" Peter yelled.

The paparazzi and the fans didn't budge.

Peter sighed in exasperation, walked to the back of the house, and when he got back three minutes later, he was holding a rocket-propelled grenade launcher.  
"I guess there's only one way to fix this!" Peter moaned.  
"Peter! No!!" Lois protested.

Meanwhile, while the gang was distracted, Stewie took the liberty of stealing Yugi, Jonouchi and Kaiba's decks to examine them in his super-computer.

"NOW EXAMINING..." The computer started.

"DARK MAGICIAN: SPELLCASTER MONSTER. ELEMENT: DARK. ATTACK: 2500. DEFENSE: 1500."

"BLUE EYES WHITE DRAGON. DRAGON MONSTER. ELEMENT: LIGHT. ATTACK: 3000. DEFENSE: 2500"

"CELTIC GUARDIA...."

"DAMN IT!! I know all about those monsters!!! Tell me about the Egyptian God Monsters and how do i use those cards for world domination?!?!?!?" Stewie demanded.

"........ .....DATA NOT FOUND..." The computer explained.

"Blast it!!! This Yugi Motou must keep the God Monsters in a seperate place for safe-keeping. Wise of him, i should've expected this from the start." Stewie thought aloud to himself.  
"...No matter, i will search for Osiris, God of Obelisk, and Ra again first chance i get!" Stewie said.

"VICTORY SHALL BE MINE!!!" Stewie yelled.


	4. quahog news

Lucky there's a Family Pharoah

Chapter 4:

"Well, tom...It appears fans from all over the northeast and midwest; From Horny fangirls to our competition have arrived to the rumoured location of the cast of Japan's Trading Card Game craze! We've even heard rumours of fans from as far as canada, Mexico and the U.K! Despite a pathetic marionette theatre attempt, the fans aren't going anywhere..." Trishia explained.

Meanwhile Quagmire was watching from his T.V in his bed with the ice cream lady when...

"Then THAT MEANS...heh ...heh ...All Riiiiiiiiiiight!!" Quagmire said.  
Quagmire ran out the door in a rush.  
"Hello? Glenn, sweetie? Helloooo??" The ice cream lady hollered.

In the Griffin basement... ...

Peter stared at the mob on the T.V and looked at everyone else.  
"Now, okay...Okay everyone...DON'T PANIC!" Peter said as he tried to settle the already calm group of kids.  
"Looks like YOU'RE the one who's panicking!" Meg stated.  
"Meg! Go to your room!" Peter stuttered.  
"Uhh...I haven't been so nervous since the time i auditioned for the role of Smokey the bear!" Peter said.

Flashback.

Peter was standing in between a set and a camera wearing a bear suit. He pointed towards the lens and said  
"Only you ca...Uhh..." Peter turned his head towards the donut boy off set and went "Line?"  
"Prevent forest fires, dammit!!" The director yelled.  
Peter pointed at the lens again and yelled. "Only YOU can prevent forest fires, dammit!!"  
"Get me the understudy!!" The director said in a rage.

End flashback.

The gang and family by a loud Thump-thump-thump!! They looked up to see something moving in the house's air duct.  
Quagmire dropped in the basement from the hole, ran up to mai holding a dandelion with a clump of dirt still on it and said real fast "Heymaiyouwannagoout??"  
"You again!?" Anzu said.  
Quagmire rested his arm on her shoulder and said "Will you go on a date with me? There's this tool shed at the park..."  
Mai kicked him right in the delicate area, then stomped on his face.  
Jonouchi, mokuba, rebbeca and honda laughed at the 'Show' Mai was putting on. Even the recently depressed yugi was beginning to smirk.  
"I like it when you play hard to get!" Quagmire smirked.  
Mai charged at him again when peter caught her arm and said "Mai, wait! I have a plan!"  
"Kaiba! You and Quagmire here switch clothes, and quagmire will distract the fans long enough for us to sneak you out of here!" Peter explained.

"YOU WANT ME TO TAKE MY CLOTHES OFF IN FRONT OF THIS PERVERT!?" Seto protested.

There was a guy on the T.V cosplaying as Kaiba laughing like an idiot and clapping like crazy. Seto could tell just by looking at the man that he was gay, then he smirked.  
"I'll do it!!" Kaiba said.

Quagmire and Kaiba switched clothes, as soon as meg dyed quagmire's hair brown, peter kicked him out the door.  
"Have fun out there!!" Rebecca taunted.  
A woman rushed up to quagmire and said "Oh, Kaiba! You'll always be my favorite! Will you kiss me for luck?" A teenage girl ran up to him and lifted up her shirt "Will you sign my bra??"  
"I'm in!" Quagmire said "Giggity!" He added.

Brian, lois, meg, chris and peter were carrying the group out in giant cardboard boxes and crates and loaded them into peter's old redneck truck. As lois put the crate containing mokuba and jonouchi in the trunk, peter put the rest of the boxes in the trunk.  
As peter was putting the keys into ignition, jonouchi let out a faint "Omf!"

They hid out at quagmire's summer retreat, peter turned on the T.V.

On the TV:  
"Well it appears there are no fictional characters in the griffin home after all... ...In other news, the number of teen pregnancy cases in quahog has quadrupled! The mayor has demanded an investigation immediately!"

Yugi opened a door that he thought was the bathroom only to find a woman stripped down to her underwear and gagged and bound in a closet.

"... ... ...Sorry, wrong door!" Yugi said before closing the door.  
Peter caught up to yugi and said "Since it's been a long night, let's save the lesson for tomorrow, O.k?"  
"Fine with me!" Yugi replied.

Mokuba ran out of the bathroom and said "Hey, there's a balloon machine in the bathroom!"

"Mokuba, I don't want you touching ANYTHING in this house, you understand?" Kaiba said to his kid brother.


	5. randomness

Lucky there's a Family Pharoah

Chapter 5

That morning, yugi was teaching peter more about the game of duel monsters while lois was making breakfast.  
Chris yawned as he walked down the stairs and sighed  
"I can't remember the last time that i slept so well since the evil monkey lived in my closet! It's good to be away from him for at least a little while..."

Meanwhile at the griffin house.  
Dance music was pumping from the stereos, there were balloons and streamers all over the cieling, and there were 13 or 14 monkeys dancing, playing twister, laughing, eating, or just plain running around the house with lamp shades or foam domes on their heads holding martini glasses.  
A loud knocking noise came from the door, the music stopped, all the other monkeys hid upstairs, and the evil monkey secretly answered the door hiding behind it.  
Outside was the pizza boy holding 6 boxes "You ordered the banana pizzas?" He said.  
The monkey rolled out a skateboard with his money on it and took the boxes with a rubber human hand.  
As soon as the coast was clear...  
"EEEEEK" (He's gone!)  
The monkeys went back to their party. Two monkeys were holding a beer-bong, one had it's mouth to the tube, and the fourth was pouring banana daiquri into the funnel. There was a crowd of monkeys gathered around.

"OOOK! OOOK! OOOK!" (CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!)

-------------------  
END CUTAWAY  
-------------------

"Now when we have monsters on the field, and one has more 'Attack' points than mine, you can make your monster card attack mine during your battle phase, then my monster would be sent to the discard pile, or 'Cemetery', and the difference is deducted from my life points..." Yugi explained.  
Peter looked at the two monster cards he was holding in his hand, a Hellbound and a Sangan (Three Eye)  
"Ah, crap! How can i beat Joe with cards like THIS!?" Peter moaned.  
"I got an idea, if we sneak us out, let's go shopping for cards..." Peter whispered.

"Peter! Kids! Breakfast!!" Lois yelled from Quagmire's kitchen. Jonouchi, Honda, and Rebecca looked at their food questioningly and inspected it with their cutlery because they just got through a documentary on birds.  
Chris walked into the kitchen dangling something made from latex laughing. "Hey, guys! Quagmire's bathroom has a balloon machine in it!"  
Meg was secretly eyeing kaiba as he questioningly sipped his coffee.

Deciding they weren't hungry anymore, anzu and brian decided to watch T.V in the living room.

On the T.V Screen:  
A woman in an apron said to her husband sitting in the recliner "Luigi! Your mother insulted my lasagna again!"as he watched T.V in a british accent.  
Her husband was fat, had a very thick mustache with stubble all over his chin, and he wore a red and white striped shirt and a chef's hat. "Yooouuuuu shut-ta up-a ya mouth-a!" A chainsaw made a large circle in their wall, a lumberjack stomped through the hole and said "Looks like i took a wrong turn at albequerque..."

"You call THIS T.V??" Anzu said in disgust.  
"Great Britain does worse..." Brian said flatly drinking his scotch.  
Peter put a rain coat and a newsboy hat on yugi, and tiptoed to the back door and signaled for yugi to follow. Yugi followed him to the car, and peter silently drove away with all of lois's money. Unfortunately, peter told yugi not to bring his sen nen puzzle with him...  
Stewie secretly watched them back out of the driveway and smiled.  
"My opporitunity has ARRIVED!!" He declared.  
Stewie waved a special wand-shaped device over the mystical object. The device declared "Age: 5000 years old. Material: 70 Gold, 30 human DNA."

"What? That's IT?" Stewie said frustrated. He began punching the pendant. "I'M TIRED OF PLAYING THE NICE GUY, DAMMIT! I COMMAND YOU TO WORK!!"  
Lois picked her toddler up and said "Stewie, be respectful to other people's things! I really can't leave you alone without you being naughty!"  
"BLAST, VILE WOMAN! PUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT!!"  
After lois put stewie in his crib, lois walked downstairs and said "Peter, can you watch the kids while i get gro--What the?"  
She noticed the car was gone and saw a note on the kitchen table that read:

"Lois.

Went out.

The words 'Gone fishing' were written but crossed out. As were 'Grocery shopping', 'hit the bar', 'overtime', 'am invisible, but right here anyway', and 'kidnapped by aliens'.

Peter.

P.S Yugi's with me."

Peter had spent 79 on cards and loaded it in the trunk for yugi and peter to assemble after lunch.  
Grandpa had been sweeping the patio when he saw the car pull up. "Well, well, well...If mr. intelligent is'nt back..." He smirked.

Yugi explained to Peter "Monsters in defense mode must be placed on the field face-down, they can only be flipped face-up when attacked. When they are destroyed, your life points will be safe, and if your monster's defense points are higher than my monster's attack points, the difference is deducted from my life points..."

"I'll call joe and schedule a little get together...Hehehehehehh" Peter laughed, ogling his new, improved, bona-fied deck. (Heh, heh. She said 'Bona-fied')

Yugi was feeling tired and decided to take a small nap. He laid out the sleeping bag on the basement floor and went to sleep, leaving his deck unprotected. Stewie tiptoed to the box on the couch containing yugi's deck and very carefully picked it up. He tiptoed back the way he went, and when he was in the clear, he sprinted to his room and slammed the door shut.

Opening the door to his secret laboratory, he searched the deck until he found the egyptian god monsters. He removed them carefully from the deck box and scanned them with his super-computer.

"At last! I have the egyptian god monsters! And with their powers, the world will be mine at last!" Stewie laughed.

The images of the god cards appeared on the computer monitor.  
"Osiris. God of Obelisk. Ra. I command you to lend me your powers and assist me in world domination!" Stewie commanded.

The cards sparkled and the hieroglyphics on Obelisk magically changed.  
"Translator, activate!" Stewie ordered to the computer via mic.

A box appeared in the monitor. It read:

"TRANSLATED: OUR POWER IS SO GREAT, WE ONLY OBEY THOSE WORTHY OF IT. YOU ARE NOT WORTHY."

"I don't care if i'm not 'Worthy'. I want your limitless power! So give it to me!!!" Stewie demanded.

The hieroglyphics on Osiris sparkled and changed again.

"TRANSLATED: YOU? TAKE OVER THE WORLD? IF ANUBIS AND ZORC COULDN'T RULE THE WORLD, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU HAVE A CHANCE?!?"

The hieroglyphs on Ra's card changed as well.

"YOU'D JUST CRY TO MAMA AND FALL ASLEEP."

"YOU PAGAN BEASTS!!! I SHOULD POOP IN THE TOILET AND WIPE MY ARSE WITH YOU!!!" Stewie exploded, jumping up and down.

The cards ejected themselves from the computer and warped back to yugi's deck.

"Oooooooohhhhhhhhhh!!!" Stewie groaned. "So close, yet so far..."


	6. payback slight rewrite

Lucky there's a Family Pharoah

Chapter 6: Revenge time!!  
(Slight rewrite)p

Peter used collect call to contact the guys, knowing quagmire would be paying the bill anyway. He instructed them to meet him at 7:00PM at the Drunken clam, it was currently 6:49. Peter drove to the bar and took Yugi with him. And Brian insisted on going to keep Peter in line.  
"Hey, how about some tunes, huh? Peter suggested, turning the radio on.

"And that was Toby keith's latest hit: 'Get out of my country, you lazy, dirty, dark-skinned, south-of-the-border F---ers' on KQUA!" The DJ announced.

Peter, Brian and Yugi were standing outside the door, peter was staring at his wristwatch, only stopping to look at the road for joe, cleveland, or quagmire.  
"Peter, are you sure it's a wise idea to bring a minor to the clam with you? The clam doesn't even have any arcade games..." Brian said.  
"Are you questioning my authority?" Peter scorned.  
"No, i'm questiong the bar's authority....OF COURSE i am!"

Seconds later the guys pulled up and met up with peter inside. "'Fess up, peter! Why did you summon us here!?" Cleveland demanded.  
"I challenge joe to a Double-or-Nothing rematch!" Peter declared.  
Joe laughed "You're challenging us to ANOTHER game of poker, huh? I guess some people just don't know when they're beat!"  
"Eheheheheheheheh...Oh we're not playing poker..." Peter started. "We're playing Duel Monsters!"  
Yugi whispered into brian's ear "Mr. Griffin socializes with THESE people?!"  
Brian nodded "He doesn't have anything better to do, sadly..."

Peter and the boys sat at their usual booth to play their game, yugi spied on them from behind the pool table. As Yugi was watching, some drunks were secretly playing a game. The objective was to stick as many martini toothpicks in the boy's hair before he noticed.

FAST FORWARD TO LAST TURN:

Peter's life points: 1500, Joe's life points: 1300  
Joe's field: 1 monster, 0 Spell, 0 Trap cards.  
Peter's field: 2 Defense mode monsters, 1 card in Spell/Trap zone.  
"Alright...I sacrifice Dark Knight to summon Great Maju Garzett..." Joe started. "Thanks to garzett's ability, his ATK and DEF points are now 3600 and 3000! Garzett, GET HIM!!"  
The monster spewed a stream of acid onto one of peter's defending monsters, sending it to the cemetery. The monster was a 'Lizard Soldier'.  
"Turn end." Joe said.

"My turn! Draw!  
First, i play the Field card 'Umi'! Then, i switch my other face-down monster to attack position, 'Amphibious bugroth MK-3'!  
Umi may lower bugroth's attack points by 200, but thanks to it's effect, it's worth it! Amphibious bugroth, attack joe directly!" Peter declared.  
"Aw...Damn...I destroyed the wrong one..." Joe muttered.  
The little submarine-like robot shot itty-bitty torpedoes at joe's chin, dropping his life points to 0.  
"NOOOOOOO!!" Joe screamed.  
"That's the game, joe, now, if you'll be so kind as to give me back...Eh? Eh?" Peter started, holding out his palm and waving his fingers.  
"AAARGH!" Joe roared in frustration. He slammed the jar of money on the bar table, shot it, and shouted "WHERE IS IT NOW, HUH? WHERE IS IT NOW?!"

Peter collected his wager in a dignified manner and said to quagmire and cleveland "Who wants to play?".  
Horace said "I happen to be an avid card collector! If you can beat me, you and your friends get free beer! Wanna take a crack at it?"

Peter ended up beating quagmire, cleveland, and winning free drinks from horace...Yugi had to drive them home because he was the only one sober...He did surprisingly well for someone who hadn't earned their license yet. (He only hit 4 mailboxes.)

3 Minutes later at the police station...

Yugi was sitting on a bench in the police station lobby and peter was being held in a jail cell. Yugi felt his hip vibrate and he got out his deck. The Dark Magician card was glowing purple.  
"No, i don't know what i got myself in to, but i don't have much choice but to go through with it until we can get back to japan..." Yugi thought.

Yugi was snapped out of his thoughts by the sound of a door opening. He looked up to see Lois walk in the building and approach the police officers.  
"Peter! I demand to know the meaning of this right now!" Lois said flatly.  
"Mrs. Griffin, your husband is in jail on 1 count of allowing a minor to drive an automobile without a license. The bail is three-hund-HEY! It's that Yugi kid!!" The officer explained and blurted.  
"Well, if that's the real Yugi Mutou, maybe we can work something out..." The second cop said, holding his deck of cards.  
The police officers let Peter, Yugi and Brian out without bail, and in exchange, Yugi autographed their badges and decks. Lois drove them home from their.  
"Hey, lois! Look what I got!?" Peter slurred, carrying a big burlap sack. When lois took the bag from peter's hand, peter slumped face first in front of the door, leaving yugi to walk in on his back.  
"Peter!? H-How did you get all this money!?" Lois said in suprise. "You should probably wait until tomorrow, he's had A LOT of beer!" Yugi explained.

The next morning:

"Peter! Kids! Waffles!!" Lois yelled from the kitchen. She walked over to the couch and tried to wake him "Peter, breakfast is ready!"  
"Uuugghhh... I-I'm still a little hung over, just shove the food intp the back of my mouth and massage my neck!" Peter groaned.  
"Peter, i'm ecstatic you got twice the money you lost gambling, but i DON'T approve of you bringing a teenager to the clam with you! I mean, if i won't let you bring OUR OWN kids to a bar, what makes you think i'm o.k with you takin' someone else's kids--"  
Peter got up off the couch and blurted "Well, off to work!" He ran out to his car.  
"It's saturday!" Lois yelled.  
"Sure you can!" Peter replied, clearly not listening.  
"So, where's the fatty off to?" Seto asked. Everyone giggled except lois. Stewie chuckled and turned to kaiba "Will you adopt me?"  
Jonouchi nudged Seto's arm and smirked "For once, you and me have something to agree on!" "Don't touch me!"

"So, what crazy adventure is in store for us today?" Bakura asked.  
"Well, now that you ask, next weekend we're gonna go to Six flags!" Lois cheered.  
"Sweet!? Six flags?!" Meg gasped.  
"Well it was either THAT or Disneyland..." Peter added. "But...There was an 'Incident', and i can never go back!"

Flashback:

Peter was hiding behind a bush in the animal kingdom attraction after jumping the fence to get in the park. He was wearing jungle camouflage, and he was surrounded by empty beer cans, and he picked up his hunting rifle.  
A herd of elephants was wandering the simulated savannah...  
"Yeah, looks like a deer..."  
End Flashback.


	7. Let's party!

**Final Chapter!! **

Peter rounded up all the teenagers, and grandpa, into his pickup-truck he had as a redneck. As for his own kids, they were settled in lois's car, lois was going to follow peter to the airport...  
"This is SO humiliating..." Honda moaned, dressed in a poncho and a huge sombrero.  
"I don't know, i feel rather like sherlock holmes!" Bakura commented about his costume; An old detective costume from halloween.  
Seto was wearing a toupee on his face like a beard and a straw hat, and quagmire's old clothes."Well, it doesn't get any stupider than THIS!" He commented.  
Yugi was wearing the same raincoat he was wearing going to the toy store. Anzu, Shizuka and Mai were wearing a chinese dress, a wedding gown, and casual clothes. Mokuba and rebecca were short enough to hide under the truck's walls. Grandpa was just hidden under some tarp.  
Jonouchi dyed his hair black and put on a top hat...His face red as a strawberry.

Some occasional drivers would honk their horns and laugh at their wierd disguises, jonouchi made haste to lift his middle finger at any and all gawkers.  
They waited in the back for an hour until they got to the airport.  
"16 tickets to chicago please!" Peter said to the clerk.

The griffins and the Domino crew slept in tents in a field a mile or two from the park. The next morning, they set out for some fun.  
First, Yugi, meg, anzu and mokuba checked out the carnival games. Yugi won his girl anzu a big dark magician girl plush in a game of whack-a-mole. Anzu won yugi a dark magician poster in a game of bagatelle(1).  
Meanwhile, peter and chris were heckling the midgets at the freak show,(2) While lois took stewie to the petting zoo.

Jonouchi, Mai, honda and shizuka went on one of the roller coasters that has puppets, visuals and other special effects...Jonouchi didn't want to scream because he thought it was cowardly. "WHOAAAAAAH!!" "WOOHOOHOO!!" "YOOOOSSHH!!" "BAAAAANNNZAAAIIIII!!" Screamed the others. Jonouchi was silent for 10 whole minutes until the ride was over. Jonouchi fainted during the last 2 minutes of the ride.  
"N...NN.. Huh?" Jonouchi said coming around.  
"Jonouchi-Neesan. The ride's over, you can scream now." Shizuka said. "Wh-What?" Jono asked.  
"You can scream now." Mai finished.  
"Yeah, that's what I THOUGHT you said... ...AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Jonouchi screamed.  
The group met up at the water park and boarded the water-slide. Then the water log ride.  
Yugi and Anzu decided to head for the ferris wheel.  
"Beautiful view, isn't it, yugi?" Anzu said.  
Yugi turned to look at anzu and said "Yes, yes it is!!" Anzu giggled.  
Anzu looked a little concerned. "So...Are you feeling any happier ever since... ... ...You know?" Yugi nodded and said "I think that losing that shadow game has helped me feel better...Talk about ironic!"  
Yugi and Anzu started laughing, and before they knew it, the ride stopped.

As for Seto...  
Seto was riding the tower of power and didnt even realize he wet himself. "Aw, man! These pants are genuine italian silk!!" Kaiba moaned.  
Jonouchi laughed at the sight...Honda had to slap his palm over jonouchi's mouth to keep jou from getting himself killed.  
Some laughed, some cheered, some lost their lunch on the roller coasters...After many rides and games, at the end of the day, peter lead the group back to their little 'Camp'...Only to find it currently being taken over by a group of bums, forcing peter to pay the extra money to take them all to a hotel. Lois ordered a bunch of pizza for them.  
That morning, the group went back to the airport and rode back to quahog.

Yugi told his friends to meet in the backyard that evening.  
It was 5:00PM...And everybody came into the yard as instructed.  
"Yugi, why did you summon us here??" Bakura questioned.  
"I think with the power of my Sen-nen puzzle, i can try to get us back...BUT i have to beat peter in a duel!" Yugi explained.  
"I'm ready fer ya! Ehehehehehe!" Peter said, waving his deck.  
"Well, THIS should be entertaining." Brian commented, drinking a glass of wine.

CUT TO RESULTS:  
Yugi: 2500 Peter: 0.

Yugi had defeated peter...And a bright, flashing light surrounded the teenagers.  
"THANK YOU, Yugi!! Thank you for helping me get my revenge!!" Peter cried.  
Meg took one last photo of kaiba and dropped to the ground huging her camera.  
"At least i'll still have You..."Meg whispered. The digital camera's memory was full of photos of kaiba sleeping in the basement, forcing himself to swallow lois's cooking, and the photo of him in the shower room from that episode of channel 6 news.  
"YOU CAN'T GO!!" Chris yelled "Who's gonna protect me from the evil monkey!?"  
In one last flash of golden light, the gang returned to their town of domino.

They were at the turtle shop, there was still the tournament going on, and the calendar still read 'Wednesday'.  
"Hey! We're back!" Grandpa declared.  
"Now, let's find out who this shadow duelist REALLY is!" Yugi said, pulling the cloaked man's hood off. The man was none other than Keith howard.  
"Keith?!" The gang yelled.  
"That's right, it was me, keith. With yugi out of the picture, I would become the new king of games...So i sent you to the other side of the planet so i could get fame and glory...And i would've gotten away with it, too...If it weren't for you meddling kids!!

"Seto, throw the bum out!" Jonouchi mumbled. Everyone else laughed at the comment.

"This was fun! I think i'm gonna be just fine without Atemu after all..." Yugi thought to himself. "As long as these people are with me..."

(1) Bagatelle is a carnival game similar to pachinko, only the slot the little ball rolls into determines your prize, based on how far from the middle it is.  
(2) No theme park that i know of in the world HAS a freak show today...I just wanted to make peter and chris act immature as usual.

I might add i'm ending the story with a sneak-peek of one of my new ideas...

R&R!!


	8. Important noterant

Note.

Warning!!

Please do not spam my storys with poorly-spelled reviews! It's disrespectful and it ruins my profile!

I received another spam review from /fan lover, Stop this shit and get a hobby! Nobody thinks you look popular, nobody thinks you look cool, and nobody thinks you look smart!!! It's the fact that you don't have an account that's saved your sorry ass from being banned!

So please, out of common courtesy of yourself, myself and every fanfic writer in the community, THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU WRITE!!

-Sekhmet'sembodiment223


End file.
